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[swordfucker]

Guren Ichinose | Red | #A5211F

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[swordfucker]

[ He shivers just slightly at that response, and it’s all he needs. They’ve always been able to communicate without words, and now this is just another way to do that, isn’t it? ]

Welcome back.

[ A little comment, with a smile curling against Dextera’s lips before he’s covering them with his own again. One hand still joined with Dextera’s, the other rests at his shoulder, slides up the side of his neck and just teases his fingers past his ear. He just wants to sit here and enjoy this company for a while. They can make out and take silent breathing breaks, and let it just be that, surely.

He’s just so... glad. He’s relieved. ]

[passio]

[ guren is still injured, and dextera hasn’t forgotten that, but it’s hard to make himself stop when guren is like this—just as filled with desire, finally looking alive for the first time since dextera walked through the door. “welcome back,” he says! dextera could say the same to him, and a laugh escapes him in a breath.

he wants to cry, he wants to scream, he wants to rejoice, and he’s not sure which one of those emotions is going to win out in the end. maybe they’ll all just cancel each other, and he’ll be able to function like a normal person. ]

…

[ there’s nothing to say. that’s all right, he thinks. there are no words that need to come out that can’t be said through his actions. ]

[swordfucker]

[ As long as Dextera doesn’t go anywhere, as long as he stays alive... That’s all that matters. He kisses him again and again, slow and heartfelt, warm and still disbelieving. What does this mean? It feels like their usual, just moving forward, and he wonders why he didn’t notice.

Dextera could say this is just a friend thing and he wouldn’t even care.

He does have to stop at a point, though, when leaning over like this stretches too much at his wounds and he lets out a gasp in his pain. Still worth it. ]

[passio]

[ dextera stops, too, when he hears guren’s small gasp—it’s not like guren to be hurt, at all, and dextera remembers how severe his injuries are even from such a small noise. ]

Ah…

[ an apology, partially because of that, and partially because he has no idea how to clean or dress a wound. if guren accidentally reopened something, he wouldn’t be able to help at all. so he pulls back, belatedly shy about all of this, and nudges guren’s shoulder.

he should be in bed, not just sitting on it. ]

Rest.

[swordfucker]

[He can't stop smiling, now. It's so different from before, he doesn't know what to do. Where does he put all of this feeling? What does he say? Do they do anything about it, or accept it quietly? They seem to always accept things quietly. Hand holding, touching, moving forward without ever addressing it directly...

It's easier like that, for someone like Guren.]

I'm supposed to just sleep, now?

[In the middle of the night, with Dextera alive. Alive and kissing him? He can't help the quiet laugh he lets out, bringing a hand back to rub at his face. He's so happy. He's so relieved.

But he moves, carefully, lying on his back and slipping his feet back under the covers. There's room for Dextera, and he looks at him wordlessly, expectant.]

[passio]

…?

[ oddly, dextera doesn’t immediately get what guren wants, even though he should—it clicks a moment later, at least, and his heart flutters before anything else. it’s not like he hasn’t already slept in guren’s bed, but this is different.

he takes off his shoes, following guren into the bed. ]

Don’t sleep. [ selfish, maybe, but dextera wants to keep talking to him. ] But, rest.

[swordfucker]

[Don't sleep. Ah... help, that makes him smirk even more. This warm feeling in his chest makes him even more antsy than the tension from before the kiss. He doesn't know what to do about it.

The same as usual, he guesses? He puts his arm around Dextera, carefully.]

Uh huh. And how should I rest? Like this?

[passio]

[ there’s a different context to it all, now, and dextera will need to get used to it—is this flirting? dextera just came back from the dead, and guren is flirting with him.

it’s better than seeing him cry, anyway. ]

…

[ he relaxes, under guren’s hold, and shifts carefully until he has the space to keep signing. he’s still missing some color, but it’s coming back to him slowly. ]

Like this. [ agreement, and he glances over at guren before he returns his attention to his hands. ] I want to stay.

[ not… forever, maybe, but he wants to be here with guren while he recovers. ]

[swordfucker]

You can stay.

[However long he wants. He'd like to see that color come back slowly, if it does. He sure hopes it does. He smooths his hand slightly down Dextera's arm.]

I really thought you were gone forever. It still feels like I shouldn't say anything about it, or you might disappear. [Admissions, honesty that he doesn't usually give anyone else. Dextera's always been on the receiving end of this.]

I want you to stay.

[passio]

[ guren can’t talk about the deaths of his friends to anyone, lest he risk their lives. dextera remembers that, and he wonders briefly if it’s a relief to be able to talk about the fact dextera died, out here in the open. he hopes it’s not hard. ]

I won’t disappear.

[ he can’t promise that, but he’ll try with everything he has to stay here, stay living—besides his laptop, he seems stable. ]

I want to live.

[swordfucker]

...I don't know how many times you can pull off a trick like that.

[Coming back to life. No matter who has or does or will, how many times can they assume that'll work? He doesn't like it.]

So keep living, this time. I'll be more careful, too.

[This was his screw up.]

[passio]

[ dextera doesn’t want to die, just as much as he wants to live. guren has been through enough already, and even if dextera came back, he had to die to test it. ]

…

[ he turns his face, kissing the corner of guren’s mouth. a wordless reassurance, a promise to try.

he won’t leave guren again. ]

[swordfucker]

[It's so soothing. There are going to be more terrible things. They never seem to stop. But they'll get through this. That's what he wants to believe. A second chance, just like he'd gotten with his friends from home. Like he'd stolen...

He doesn't deserve it, but he doesn't care. He wants it, he's taking it, and he'll never let go.

He turns into the kiss afterwards, taking slow breaths, trying to press another chaste one to Dextera's lips. If this is resting, he can do it all night.]

[passio]

[ dextera remembers the warmth of being close to someone. something fulfilling, suffusing his body, that’s not at all the same comfort he found with his brother. this is something more like—alice, perhaps. something more like any of the wandering maidens, wanting and wanting. ]

…

[ he doesn’t want to disturb guren too much, and so he pulls away from the kiss before they either of them can get into it. it’s incredible, how quickly this part has come to feel natural. ]

I’m here.

[swordfucker]

[A fair stop. He wants more, even if he doesn't have the energy. He doesn't think he could sit up right now if he tried. Well. He could, through sheer willpower, but he's been using a lot of willpower these past days.

He watches Dextera quietly, head still turned his way, fingers trailing down his arm.]

...Good. [Stay there, he thinks.] I think I'm going to have to sleep at some point, though.

[passio]

[ um guren did you not see him when he said don’t sleep ]

…

[ dextera gently shifts closer, pulling the blanket over both of their bodies. it’s a balancing act, trying to find the happy medium between wanting to practically merge with guren and wanting to give him the space to heal. once he’s settled, though, he takes guren’s hand just to hold it, and he realizes something a moment later. ]

My bracelet.

[ guren is still wearing it. ]

[swordfucker]

[At least Guren has decided to calm himself, though, since he doesn't want to bleed and ruin the mood. Instead, it's quiet, he can enjoy this company and relax, and watch as Dextera takes his hand.

Ah, right. He's a little embarrassed that he's being called out on this. He'd been wearing it ever since Dextera gave it to him. It made him feel like they were together, no matter what. It was secure. And when Dextera died, it was all he had, along with that crystal.]

...Yeah.

[Of course, he can't manage these gross words aloud, very well.]

[passio]

[ yeah is a pretty illuminating answer, for guren. he defaults to short responses when there’s a lot more he wants to say and can’t make himself do it, and dextera breathes out an amused sound that’s not quite a laugh, but something light. understanding. ]

Keep it.

[ he’s gotten used to the feeling of being without it, and it feels like… well, thinking about it is embarrassing in that fluttery teenage way, so dextera steers himself away from that path, and chooses instead to quietly appreciate that the red goes with guren’s whole aesthetic. ]

[swordfucker]

[Ah. He likes that... He looks fondly at his own hand, fingers curling loosely.]

I still think it doesn't look as good on me.

[But he'll gladly keep it, thanks.] And all you have is that jacket of mine you don't even have any use for.

[passio]

[ dextera is going to say something that plenty of people think but few people ever say aloud because they have an understanding of the way people are supposed to behave in polite society, and hopefully guren does not regret his choice to kiss. ]

I like the smell.

[swordfucker]

[He's immediately embarrassed, and it's showing on his face. Barely-red cheeks, eyes that look away, anywhere else.]

...Okay.

[H...he was smelling it before now...?!]

[passio]

[ dextera is going to take that embarrassment as a good thing, like guren is pleased by the statement, and he smiles a little. ]

I like your smell.

[ a small correction? ]

[swordfucker]

[Well it's getting WORSE, so that must mean he's even happier!!]

I-I get it, already!

[STOP]

[passio]

—!

[ dextera blinks, surprised this time by the vehemence of guren’s embarrassment. he’ll offer… one more correction, but this one just seems like an inevitability. ]

I like you.

[swordfucker]

[Well, now his ears are burning, and he wants to shove Dextera's face into a pillow. But he's worried that he'll misunderstand, all the same. So, he just... brings the arm that's around him to the side of Dextera's face, like he's holding him closer, and stares at him.]

You're embarrassing. [Is that nice enough]