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[swordfucker]

Guren Ichinose | Red | #A5211F

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[swordfucker]

You don't have to apologize for something like that.

[Guren is quick to correct that, raising his free hand to rub at the back of his neck.] I was just... you can go to whoever you want. I just want you to know that you're important. You matter, and I'm not the only one who thinks so.

There are tons of people who'd like to hear you're back. You don't have to do that until you're ready.

[passio]

[ even if guren says that, dextera won’t believe he matters to anyone until he sees them react to his return—and that’s difficult to accept, in its own way.

he shifts, lifting guren’s hand to his mouth to actually kiss his fingers this time, finding it all so strangely comfortable. maybe this was the natural next step of their closeness, with or without a kiss. ]

…not ready.

[ he mouths it against guren’s fingers, eyes lowered. he wants to stay in bed with guren for a little longer. ]

[swordfucker]

...Then let's focus on something else, instead.

[It can be done and out of the way. He's here for him, he made it clear. He can stay here, they can stay together and be happy. That's all that matters, right? So, he touches Dextera's bottom lip with his fingers, and then leans closer, not even bothering to move his hand out of the way unless Dextera does, but kissing his lips all the same.

It might have been suggestive if he didn't move immediately after for a glass of cola.]

Let's have our breakfast. [This is the worst breakfast. Guren digs it.]

[passio]

[ it is absolutely the worst breakfast, and all this sugar will almost certainly make dextera sick, but he wants it and he thinks he deserves it after dying.

of course, such a thought is not like anything that’s ever occurred to him, is it? that he deserves something, just because.

guren helps dextera feel like he can quickly move on, before he sinks into a depression all over again, and he grabs the bowl of fruit to rest between them. he’ll get his cola in a second, but he’s running his thumb over one of the strawberries, thoughtfully. when he lifts his hand to wipe his cheeks clear of his tears, he signs something almost coy. ]

Feed you?

[ guren is… unwell… after all. ]

[swordfucker]

...

[That's embarrassing, and that's dangerous, and it gets Guren to pause with the cup to his lips, considering it with a stare before he lowers the glass. He's still staring straight at Dextera, and he manages not to look as embarrassed as he feels. Instead, he's putting on casual confidence!!]

Sure, do it.

[See what happens]

[passio]

[ wait, he didn’t expect guren to be so confident about it. it’s not that dextera was trying to bait him into embarrassment or anything, but guren’s steady stare is itself embarrassing, and dextera is caught off guard by the steadiness of it. ]

…nevermind. Don’t want to.

[ how fickle! ]

[swordfucker]

What?

[Guren laughs that question out, not sure if he's more amused or mildly offended. He sets his cola aside again, leaning closer and flicking lightly at Dextera's leg.]

Come on, you got me thinking about it. Or should I feed you, instead?

[passio]

[ dextera flushes, leaning away from guren—not with any malice, just embarrassment, and he plucks one of the berries from the bowl and quickly stuffs it into guren’s mouth.

there’s no décor to it, but listen. he’s not a master of romance. ]

[swordfucker]

[Guren laughs, and it hurts a little, but it's such a dull ache. He likes it. It means he's moving, Dextera is making him laugh, he's alive. He eats that berry and leans closer like a menace, grabbing one of Dextera's wrists.]

You did that like you're trying to get away from me. I'm getting mixed messages.

[passio]

[ dextera wants to laugh, and one does bubble up out of him—he doesn’t fight guren’s hand on his wrist, because it just feels so much nicer than that conversation in the bathroom. they’re playing, here, and that’s more welcome than anything.

his other hand reaches for another berry, pressing it to guren’s lips again. ]

[swordfucker]

[ Playing is way more fun. Even Guren, who is way too serious all the time, can stop to play around like this. He smiles against that berry, and subtly takes some of Dextera’s fingertips unnecessarily into his mouth as he takes the berry slowly with his lips. Not nearly as blatant as someone like Shinya would have been, but still very much There. ]

See? Easy.

[passio]

[ dextera has already forgotten he was crying, even if the reason for it hasn’t disappeared from his heart. he’s just like that—emotional, volatile, but good at glossing over it if he thinks it’s uncomfortable. ]

Ah—!

[ his fingers—why is guren like this? ]

…finished.

[swordfucker]

[ Guren laughs again, leaning to pick up a strawberry. Dextera is so shy... unbelievable. Normally Guren is the only shy one, grumpy and short about it. He can be a little merciful, but it’s still fun.

Still, he offers the strawberry to Dextera’s mouth with a fairly innocent smile. It’s just innocent food sharing! He’ll behave. ]

[passio]

…

[ dextera trusts him with this, if only because guren has fed him strawberries before. even without this new context between them, it’s not like dextera should be more wary of their closeness. he holds guren’s hand still, leaning on contact as he always does for comfort, and takes the strawberry between his teeth like a horse.

hot! ]

These are [ he gestures to the strawberry in his mouth, just before he bites into it, leaf and all because he’s a monster ] my favorite.

[swordfucker]

[Guren pulls back his hand like he was trying to snag the leaves away and it's too late and he's mildly disgusted.]

I told you not to eat the leaves. [GOD...]

...But they're pretty good. I think strawberry is probably my favorite fruit, too.

[passio]

[ the leaves are his now. dextera is a relentless animal who will eat anything that’s put in his mouth. they’re a little bitter, but he doesn’t think he’s going to die from it. ]

Leaves are healthy.

[ generally speaking? probably? ]

[swordfucker]

I can't even deny that, but it's still weird.

[Apparently they're good for digestion. But also, who the fuck eats strawberry leaves... Guren gives him a Look for a bit longer, but that fades away in his fondness, and he leans closer again, kissing experimentally, chaste, at the corner of his mouth.]

...When are you going to leave?

[It's rare that he sounds so pathetic like this, but his desire to know outweighs the worry of sounding desperate for Dextera to stay while he can't move much to follow after him if he leaves.]

[passio]

[ the words themselves would sound like guren wants him to leave, if his tone weren’t so heavy with the hope that dextera will stay. it’s strange, to be wanted like this.

he finds guren’s hand, tangling their fingers together. since he’s started using sign language, it’s harder to find a reason to simply hold hands, when it feels like he’s silencing himself. with guren, though—he’s been able to communicate, long before that.

he writes on guren’s palm, with his other hand. ]

When you say.

[ he’ll stay as long as guren wants him to, even if he wanders out to introduce himself to the others again. he can come back. ]

[swordfucker]

What if I never say?

[ He doesn’t want to, especially after thinking he’d lost Dextera like that. Embarrassment doesn’t matter so much, anymore. Not here, not now. He should have done something first himself, and instead...

He squeezes their linked hands. ]

[passio]

…

[ dextera’s expression softens with some kind of amusement, but it’s far overshadowed by the tenderness he feels for guren’s words. how could anyone want him to stay that long?

in reality, dextera will go back to his house, because he’s made a home of it. but they live here, in the same town, and they see each other so regularly that it’s fine to entertain the idea of simply settling in and never leaving this bed, let alone guren’s home. ]

Never leave.

[swordfucker]

[Guren wasn't sure he could feel this happy anymore. In a place like this, without his friends from home, with all that he's done wrong, and with Dextera dead, or so he thought... But now, his chest warms up like he's had soup, and as he ducks his head down, he can't stop grinning.

It's a soft grin, as warm as the feelings rising from his chest to his face. He knows Dextera will go back to his house, and he wouldn't want it any other way. He needs free time to cope with all of this, in various ways. But he also wants to follow him over and spend time with him as much as normal.

This time, maybe they'll have a little more they can get up to? He can push that line in the future, when he's not so injured, and Dextera has spoken to everyone else. But for now... Guren's just thinking about all of it, smiling and unable to stop. He doesn't even have anything to say to hide it. He just lifts his glass of cola again and presses it to his own lips.]

[passio]

[ guren needs lots of time to heal, if days after the fight, he still looks like this—but dextera will gladly come around to check on him whenever he does leave, and eventually, guren will be able to come over to his house once again. ]

Heh heh.

[ feeling brave, in a way, but not that brave, he kisses the other side of guren’s glass of cola. he hasn’t touched his own yet, but once he pulls back from that, he’ll get it. ]

[swordfucker]

...

[Ahhhh... Guren is quiet at that, smiling and bright and interested, maybe too interested. He wants to reach out and grab onto this so much that it can't slip through his fingers, and that intense desire is alarming, almost. But he drinks his cola, slowly, now that Dextera pulls back to get his own.]

I should be good enough to be up and moving soon. [Or, he wants to, so fuck how he feels anyway.] Maybe we can go play some chess by then.

[passio]

[ dextera sips his own cola thoughtfully. the board wouldn’t be hard to transport, he thinks—if dextera ran home now, he could have it over before even an hour passed, but that would mean throwing himself at his housemates. ]

I can bring it.

[ still, he makes the offer—he was able to slip in last night to get to his laptop, but a lot of factors were working in his favor. now, it’s broad daylight. ]

[swordfucker]

You don't have to.

[Guren is quick to correct that. He's already finished his own cola, the cold hound, and so he puts his empty glass down and moves to lie down in the bed again, instead of sitting up.]

I know you said you weren't ready to run into anyone else. I don't mind keeping you to myself for a little while longer, either.

[Well, he doesn't know Dextera ran into people already, but shh.]