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[swordfucker]

Guren Ichinose | Red | #A5211F

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[apocalypticist]

I haven't been acting on it. Intrusive thoughts are just thoughts; they're not voluntarily produced and I'm not going to let them control my actions.

[ The spider's emotions are not his own and he knows it; he can keep them separate from himself and not let them bleed into his own desires and thoughts. They're like a persistent pop-up ad that plays music—annoying as hell, but unlikely to infect the computer as long as you're careful. ]

[swordfucker]

Here.

[He pulls out the chair, indicating that Ryo should sit and eat. He didn't make any for himself, since he's eaten today.]

If that's the case, then why worry about working in the lab? The only reason I could think of you wanting to cancel is that you were thinking of acting on it with me. [So, he sits down in a chair nearby, watching him evenly.]

It's fine if you were. It's not like it's your fault.

[apocalypticist]

I'm simply being cautious.

[ Ryo's confident in his ability to stay in control, but he can't say for certain that there won't be a lapse at some point. He moves to sit down, licking his lips and forks a piece of lobster into his mouth. Honestly, what he really wants to do is stuff his mouth with as much food as possible, but he's going to restrain himself. One piece at a time, he's not an animal. ]

Yes, some of those thoughts involve you—I've been fantasizing about rigging the lab to explode or slipping something like cyanide into your drugs.

[swordfucker]

[Jesus Christ, Ryo.]

Huh. [Interesting, if he had to put it like that. And Ryo admits it openly, so that's... good? He thinks. He's interested. And he's sort of interested to see if Ryo will just inhale the lobster at some point, too.]

Good to know. How about the reward— you received some sort of potion, right? Have you tried anything with that?

[apocalypticist]

I found one after we completed the quest. I'm not going to drink an unknown liquid without letting you sample it first.

[ Or slipping it into someone's food to see what happens, but he'd prefer to let Guren test it. ]

[swordfucker]

Good. Do you have it on you?

[He leans over his spot at the table, a little.] Dextera's knocked him out for at least 6 hours. It seems like those were the only effects of his. Mine seems like it's entirely different, since it smells sweet, but I haven't tried it yet.

[apocalypticist]

Yes; you can try it after I've finished eating.

[ Right now he wants to enjoy his dinner without watching Guren potentially puke his guts out or suffer some other effect of drinking the potion. ]

[swordfucker]

The kid's going to tell me what to do, now?

[But he's joking, since he doesn't really intend to try it right when Ryo is eating, anyway. If he did, he'd tell Ryo to shut up and hand it over. For now, he just folds his arms over the table.]

I take it the food is good, then?

[apocalypticist]

It's filling.

[ ...Most people would offer an opinion on the taste or the overall quality of the dish, but Ryo is not like most people. He doesn't enjoy the food for the taste, he's enjoying it because it satisfies his hunger. ]

[swordfucker]

[He laughs, quietly, not really offended. Ryo is just such a weirdo, and he swears there must be something to it. But there's nothing to do for now but to lean back in his chair and wait.]

Good. Eat up.

[apocalypticist]

[ Ryo continues to eat, and soon he's practically inhaling the lobster — though he realizes what he's doing after a few seconds a slows down so he doesn't choke. Before long, the plate is completely empty. ]

Thank you, Ichinose-san.

[swordfucker]

Sure.

[He pauses, leaning forward again to cross his arms over the table.] Does it feel like it helped at all?

[apocalypticist]

Yes. It was a satisfying meal and I'm sure it'll keep the hunger at bay for a few hours. [ But probably not longer than that. Still, it's a welcome respite from constantly wanting to snack. ]

[swordfucker]

You're a real weirdo, you know that?

[Why does he have to talk like a ROBOT, it doesn't feel good to help with that sort of answer at all. Not that he's doing it for the feeling...] A few hours is something, I guess. Try eating like that the next time.

[apocalypticist]

That's the second time today you've called me that. What makes me a weirdo, exactly? [ Not that he particularly cares, but he'll ask anyway. ]

[swordfucker]

You make like some of my superiors look like bags of emotions, for one.

[Because... Ryo shows none? It's wild.] It's okay to feel more than the obvious. I'm not even sure if you're capable of it.

[apocalypticist]

I veer toward logic and rationality. I'm not a naturally emotive person. [ EMOTIONS ARE JUST NEUROCHEMISTRY etc. ]

I've never had any strong feelings about food, and I don't care about eating or culinary experiences; I only eat because my body requires sustenance.

[swordfucker]

You remind me of someone I know.

[He says it out of nowhere, focusing on Ryo closely as he does.] A few people, actually. They're all part of the same twisted family, and none of them can really afford to behave like a normal human.

Do you ever have fun with anything? [God, even Shinoa has fun. Even the Hiiragis have fun... He's concerned.]

[apocalypticist]

[ For Ryo Asuka, it's never really been about not being able to afford behaving like a human. It's that he despite what believes himself to be, he fundamentally isn't human; humanity does not truly come naturally to him and he can only ever mimic it. He's the uncanny valley in living form, because no matter what he does there's always going to be something missing, an imperfect act.

He knows he's never been like other people; as a child he preferred scientific texts meant for adults over the brightly colored cartoons normal children adored. He was an outsider, feared and reviled by his peers. ]

Of course I have fun. I enjoy reading about the sciences, and spending time with my best friend.

[swordfucker]

You've never really told me about your best friend.

[So it's interesting to hear those words fall from his mouth.] It's gotta be lonely here without them, right? So why don't you share a little, to help with that?

[apocalypticist]

I'm not lonely. [ He says in a flat tone but there's a subtle undercurrent running through it, breaking through the surface of his composed exterior. This isn't the first time they've been separated, but this is the first time they've been apart without any means of contact; after Ryo moved to the states, they still stayed in touch. Frequent letters (and emails after Ryo walked his technologically incompetent friend through making a gmail account) and phone calls became their means of staying connected across an ocean and several time zones. ]

I've known Akira Fudo since we were little. [ Unlike before, there's now a distinct note of fondness to his voice. ] He's the opposite of me in many ways. He's very soft-hearted and cries easily and often.

[swordfucker]

[Akira Fudo, a name filed away. Guren's not sure he believes that Ryo isn't lonely... But then, he's not sure how to believe that he has a best friend, either.]

That's probably the hardest thing to imagine that you've ever said. [He says it with a bit of a laugh.] You get along like that?

[apocalypticist]

My personality isn't conducive to making friends. [ He says this matter-of-factly, as though reciting the weather forecast for the day. He knows he was never like other children, that he wasn't normal and that he didn't belong there with them, like an invasive species in a fragile ecosystem. ]

I was an outcast, but Akira befriended me regardless. Despite all our differences, we get along well.

[swordfucker]

...Do you think that you'd call any of the people you've met in this place a friend? Not a "best friend," but just a friend.

[He has to know.]

[apocalypticist]

No. [ There's no hesitation behind it. ] It's not a word I use lightly.

[ It's reserved for Akira and Akira only. He is the only person Ryo can completely trust in a world where anyone can be a demon. ]