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[swordfucker]

Guren Ichinose | Red | #A5211F

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[apocalypticist]

That's the second time today you've called me that. What makes me a weirdo, exactly? [ Not that he particularly cares, but he'll ask anyway. ]

[swordfucker]

You make like some of my superiors look like bags of emotions, for one.

[Because... Ryo shows none? It's wild.] It's okay to feel more than the obvious. I'm not even sure if you're capable of it.

[apocalypticist]

I veer toward logic and rationality. I'm not a naturally emotive person. [ EMOTIONS ARE JUST NEUROCHEMISTRY etc. ]

I've never had any strong feelings about food, and I don't care about eating or culinary experiences; I only eat because my body requires sustenance.

[swordfucker]

You remind me of someone I know.

[He says it out of nowhere, focusing on Ryo closely as he does.] A few people, actually. They're all part of the same twisted family, and none of them can really afford to behave like a normal human.

Do you ever have fun with anything? [God, even Shinoa has fun. Even the Hiiragis have fun... He's concerned.]

[apocalypticist]

[ For Ryo Asuka, it's never really been about not being able to afford behaving like a human. It's that he despite what believes himself to be, he fundamentally isn't human; humanity does not truly come naturally to him and he can only ever mimic it. He's the uncanny valley in living form, because no matter what he does there's always going to be something missing, an imperfect act.

He knows he's never been like other people; as a child he preferred scientific texts meant for adults over the brightly colored cartoons normal children adored. He was an outsider, feared and reviled by his peers. ]

Of course I have fun. I enjoy reading about the sciences, and spending time with my best friend.

[swordfucker]

You've never really told me about your best friend.

[So it's interesting to hear those words fall from his mouth.] It's gotta be lonely here without them, right? So why don't you share a little, to help with that?

[apocalypticist]

I'm not lonely. [ He says in a flat tone but there's a subtle undercurrent running through it, breaking through the surface of his composed exterior. This isn't the first time they've been separated, but this is the first time they've been apart without any means of contact; after Ryo moved to the states, they still stayed in touch. Frequent letters (and emails after Ryo walked his technologically incompetent friend through making a gmail account) and phone calls became their means of staying connected across an ocean and several time zones. ]

I've known Akira Fudo since we were little. [ Unlike before, there's now a distinct note of fondness to his voice. ] He's the opposite of me in many ways. He's very soft-hearted and cries easily and often.

[swordfucker]

[Akira Fudo, a name filed away. Guren's not sure he believes that Ryo isn't lonely... But then, he's not sure how to believe that he has a best friend, either.]

That's probably the hardest thing to imagine that you've ever said. [He says it with a bit of a laugh.] You get along like that?

[apocalypticist]

My personality isn't conducive to making friends. [ He says this matter-of-factly, as though reciting the weather forecast for the day. He knows he was never like other children, that he wasn't normal and that he didn't belong there with them, like an invasive species in a fragile ecosystem. ]

I was an outcast, but Akira befriended me regardless. Despite all our differences, we get along well.

[swordfucker]

...Do you think that you'd call any of the people you've met in this place a friend? Not a "best friend," but just a friend.

[He has to know.]

[apocalypticist]

No. [ There's no hesitation behind it. ] It's not a word I use lightly.

[ It's reserved for Akira and Akira only. He is the only person Ryo can completely trust in a world where anyone can be a demon. ]

[swordfucker]

So... [Guren doesn't seem all that surprised, gesturing with his hand at Ryo.] You're trying to tell me that the one person you think of as a friend isn't here, but you're not lonely?

You want to think about that and try again?

[apocalypticist]

No, because I see no reason to. [ Guren can believe he's lonely if he wants to, Ryo doesn't care enough to try to argue about something as inane as this. ]

[swordfucker]

You're in denial.

[Guren says it simply, not accusing so much as concerned. It's not that he wants to argue, but Ryo not having a friend is extremely dangerous when he deals with demons so much.]

Anyway, you should try to see if there might be anyone you can consider a friend. If you want a purpose for it, then know that things like friendship, camaraderie and love work to keep a demon back and prevent them from completely possessing you.

[He believes that has to be true anywhere.]

But fine, I won't keep bothering you. Just give me that potion you got.

[apocalypticist]

[ Ryo Asuka, king of denial. Love doesn't exist and he isn't a deeply lonely person. He considers telling Guren that no, friendship isn't going to help when the merging process usually kills the human within seconds. Only those with a powerful enough heart has a chance at winning in the battle of wills.

Maybe some other time. He sticks a hand into a pocket and pulls out the potion, handing it over to Guren. ] Here.

[swordfucker]

[What do you think makes a heart strong, Ryo????

Guren reaches to take it, not wasting any time in popping it open, but he does pause.]

If you really think it's going to be a problem to watch, I can just give it back to you later. [He's experimented on himself alone before...]

[apocalypticist]

[ Being like... Akira...?? Look he's seen a total of one unsuccessful possession so he doesn't have enough data to determine what makes a heart strong. ]

I'll watch.

[swordfucker]

Okay.

[And so... he drinks some! A small amount, so that it won't go to waste if it ends up being different. He's quick to cap the rest, passing it back to Ryo as he waits. And waits... And now he's glancing down at his hands.]

Strength. [A simple observation. He's always noting how strong he is, and having a demon helps with that.] It's a considerable increase, but don't touch it until we see if there's any downside. I'll see how long it lasts, too.

[A little anticlimactic though. Thankfully, with Ryo's current problem.]

[apocalypticist]

Interesting. [ He nods, sliding the bottle back into his coat. ] And useful, if there aren't any severe side effects.

[swordfucker]

I guess we'll find out.

[Meanwhile, Guren stands up and moves over to the actual kitchen, searching through things to find a pouch, and then filling it with something else. His back is blocking it.]

I'll message you in a day, and then after that again if anything changes.

[apocalypticist]

Akright. I look forward to it. [ Enjoy your migraine, Guren. :) ]

Again, thank you for the meal—I appreciate it.

[ Things he didn't appreciate: being called out on denying his feelings, but at least the food was good. That said, he's leaving now. ]

[swordfucker]

It wasn't a problem.

[Finishing up with whatever he's doing, he moves over to Ryo, offering out the pouch.]

Here. A couple of apples and some berries that have color. Snacking might help.

[apocalypticist]

[ Ryo was just about to head for the door when the other moves over. He looks at the pouch in his hand and then to Guren and back to the pouch. Really, was that necessary, he's got plenty of snacks at his house... but there's a slight tinge of gratitude in his chest as he takes it, giving Guren a nod. ]

[swordfucker]

See you later, Asuka. Tell me if your feelings get any worse.

[He'll want to know.

But this is goodbye, and Ryo will get a message from Guren about two hours later saying the strength stopped and now he has a terrible migraine. So, have fun with that potion!]