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[swordfucker]

Guren Ichinose | Red | #A5211F

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[passio]

[ guren doesn't get to just say that when he himself looks so exhausted.

maybe it's because his eyes look so impossibly tired, or because he's already come this far to cross the room, dextera reaches out and ends up placing his hands on guren's face—his thumbs, against guren's cheeks, just holding him like there's something he can do about that weariness.

he frowns. ]

...

[ he does feel better. so many people have come to help him, guren most certainly included, and he never expected to receive such attention for anything that could ever happen to him. but who has worried about guren, in the meantime? there are some people, he's sure, but guren is so bad at taking care of himself that he almost certainly needs more than what he's gotten. ]

[swordfucker]

[Ah. Hands are at his face, and he doesn't flinch or try to move away from them. It's just more contact from Dextera, and it wouldn't be a bad thing at all if it didn't mean Dextera was worried. Guren is quick to let a small smile fall into place, something that he wants to use to wipe away any ill pointed concern.]

Come on, don't make that face. [He lifts one of his hands, covering one of Dextera's at his cheek as if the warmth of his fingers will help convince him. He doesn't know the exact point of Dextera's worry— can he see that he's tired, or is he just still apologetic that Guren tried to help him earlier? Whatever it is, it's kind. Guren knows that.]

I'm fine.

[passio]

...

[ guren is such a liar.

dextera's brow twitches in the first genuine sign of frustration that he's shown in a long time, but it's just a second later that he's pulling his hands out from under guren's, so that he can slide them around guren's neck in a hug. there's nothing else to say for it—another such thing where actions speak louder than words, all of his concern and gratefulness in this one gesture. estelle taught him how good a hug can feel from someone you care about, and while this isn't exactly one given in total goodwill, he wouldn't do it if he didn't care too much.

he exhales, his face hidden against guren's chest. ]

[swordfucker]

[It's a surprise when he's not the one to initiate it, and his hand stays frozen in the air for a few good seconds before he puts his arms around him in turn. It does feel nice to have this kind of affection pointed at him, whether it's more for Dextera's sake or his own— it doesn't matter. It helps, and he relaxes slightly for it.

At the same time, he feels horrible. Maybe he said too much while visiting Dextera before, the first time or the days following. Maybe he let something slip too much... or maybe just being too slow and unable to find a solution for all of this put Dex through too much suffering. Maybe all of it.]

All of this was pretty rough, huh? [He speaks after a few long quiet moments, pressing his palm flat against Dextera's back. He's worried, again... Is Dex really doing okay, after everything?] I'm sorry.

[passio]

[ dextera would scream if he could. he doesn't like hearing guren so quiet, so truly apologetic, as if it was his fault that dextera went through all of that—he was the one who helped dextera get his head back on his shoulders in the first place, even if it took a little longer, a little more suffering, for everything to fall back into place.

he shakes his head, insistent, against guren. ]

St...

[ again, he wants to just tell him to stop. it's okay. but he can't, and he's surely muffled anyway by the fabric of guren's uniform. ]

[swordfucker]

[He's... making it worse? He catches onto that, but it's hard to know what to do to help. This hug, he thinks, is the best bet, even if he can't seem to grasp that a hug should be tighter than this on his end. It's like even his arms are tired, just resting there.

He tilts his head down to look at Dextera, once he hears that noise, but he won't bother him to try and say it again, and he won't say any more himself on it. It's his words against himself, again, he thinks. That shake of his head tells him he shouldn't be apologizing, even if he wants to, and he'll have to leave it at that if he doesn't want to upset Dextera further.

Another quiet moment passes, and his hand moves to rub against Dextera's back a couple times in what he hopes is a comforting gesture.]

[passio]

[ it is comforting, and guren’s silence is wisely chosen to keep dextera from tearing his own hair out trying to communicate that he’s worried. he should have expected guren would run himself ragged on all this, but it was hard to think too much of it when dextera was hurting so badly before.

he sighs, a little calmer now, and lets his hands slide down to the front of guren’s chest in a gesture that would be quite intimate in another context. as it stands now, he just doesn’t want to break away. he looks up at guren with their small difference in height, his gaze more awake now—imploring, desperate for guren to take it easy.

he shakes his head again, though with less intensity now. ]

[swordfucker]

[Well, Guren doesn't even blink at all of this touching. It feels a little more like Dextera is himself when he's willing to do this, when he's not refusing to let him in or even face him. It's nice, compared to before.

He feels... incredibly tired. It's a lot more noticeable when he's not burying himself in work. Honestly, he'd be going back to it now if Dextera weren't here, feeling better. That means that everyone should be recovered now, right? Akechi had his color back. Akira was probably back to normal. Ryoji was fine and spoke to him. Izuku was dealing with it all. And all of the others...

Maybe he's finally able to stop rushing at it. He doesn't intend to stop with any of what he's working on, but at least Dextera has managed to pull him away from it for this time.]

Haha... You don't have to say a thing, and I still feel like I'm being scolded. [He gets it, he gets it... mostly. Sort of.]

[passio]

[ he is being scolded, in the nicest, quietest way possible. his fingers tighten into the front of guren’s uniform, and his expression becomes a little more stern at guren’s half-assed joke.

dextera didn’t come over here with the intention to make guren feel bad about anything, but guren did this one to himself! maybe he should stop doing stupid things to the detriment of his health all the time—leave that to dextera, an expert at dying. ]

...

[ ...but he’s not really mad, and he can’t make himself look like that for long anyway. what he does next is instead turn that negativity on guren’s laptop, pointedly looking to his workspace now and shaking his head.

no more of that tonight... ]

[swordfucker]

[Scary, scary. But he won't joke like that aloud after such a serious expression from Dextera. He's been spending too much time working. He knows it, but he was working on limited time, he thought, and he didn't want anyone to lose anything permanently. He didn't want to lose anyone.

One of his hands moves between them to rest over Dextera's.]

You want me to rest, right? [He sighs, because he gets it, because he's tired, but also because he's so frustrated with himself. He couldn't do a damn thing.]

Alright. On one condition.

[passio]

[ dextera can’t imagine what the condition will be, as things are, but he’ll agree because he does want guren to sleep—even if it’s only for a few hours, it’s better than what dextera is sure he would be doing otherwise. ]

...

[ so he nods, relaxing somewhat, willing to hear guren out when he’s got his hand over dextera’s like that. their touching is always a comfort. ]

[swordfucker]

...Stay here for the night.

[All that buildup, and it was just a request like this... Guren isn't looking at him when he says it, of course, because to him, admitting something like he wants company, or he needs help, is too selfish. If Dextera just leaves, chances are he'll get up two hours later and go right back to it, no matter how tired he is.

He's the only one who's ever literally sat and waited while Guren slept, and even if Guren still thinks that's terribly boring for him... If he's willing to help, then why not?]

Normally, all of those idiot friends of mine would be demanding it of me. I'd tell them to go home, and they wouldn't leave at all... [That company.] Even as adults, they'd all act like kids about it. But they're not here.

[So... as much as everyone has been trying to help, and as much as they have... there are still some things he misses that would help a lot. Dextera's company is comforting, anyway.]

You can use my bed, if you want. It's kind of shitty, though.

[passio]

[ truth be told, dextera wasn’t going to leave anyway. even if guren had told him to go home, he would have insisted on staying a little longer—and a little more, and a little more, until he’d forced guren into taking a sizable break.

but it’s good to just be asked to stay. although surprise crosses his features, it’s quick, and soon replaced by a willing smile. he takes guren’s hand, turning it enough that he can write on it.

O-K.

that’s the simplest answer he can give—it’s clear, isn’t it, that he was going to do it anyway?

he’ll probably leave guren’s bed to guren, but actually staying here, keeping him company, is something that dextera can do. ]

[swordfucker]

[What, he doesn't want to sleep on the old disgusting mattress with a hole in the ceiling directly above?? Well, actually, he's had to push it to the side thanks to all the rain, so there's a bucket beneath it right now.

Still, at an answer like that, Guren is immediately relieved. If it's brought up to anyone at all, or if he's teased in some way by his roommates, he's going to flip his shit— but right now, he's calm. He's tired. He's glad to have the company, even if he's about to pass out.]

Thanks.

[He pulls his hands back just so he can take his dumb jacket off. He'd forgotten it was on in the first place until Dextera grabbed at it. This is what he gets for going out and then coming immediately up here to work.]

I'm onto something, but I guess I can work on it a little slower. [A glance, as he tosses his jacket over his chair at his desk.]

[passio]

[ dextera nods in agreement of his assessment—whatever he’s onto will still be there in the morning, and he might be able to improve it if he looks on it with fresh eyes.

he would be more worried, perhaps, if he knew what guren was working on... or perhaps not, considering his own history with labs and drugs and learning the history of the littles. he never did get to purify them.

it’s nice to feel guilty about it, though, in a strange way. he presses the heel of his palm against his chest, absent-mindedly, and follows guren’s gaze to his desk. he wants to know, but... it’s better not to stir the pot right now. instead of asking, he makes himself comfortable on the floor, leaning back up against guren’s shitty ””bed.”” ]

[swordfucker]

[ He still feels a little wrong to go to sleep now, but... he’ll have to start testing them soon, anyway, and that would be unpleasant normally, let alone while he’s sleep deprived. He’ll have to save it for later. He sighs when he sits back on his bed, pressing a palm against his face and scrubbing.

When he drops it away again, he looks over to Dextera and feels weird all over again for asking him to stay— but he’d seemed like his request was obvious, like he was going to anyway.

... ]

Do you want a blanket or something? [ At least that... ]

[passio]

[ dextera shakes his head, as if that too is obvious, and he plucks his coat to say that'll be enough. of course, guren's room is a little drafty thanks to the hole in the roof, but... dex will suffer for his hubris later, and he can figure it out. ]

...

[ well, he looks content to stay right here, with no blanket, maybe like he doesn't particularly plan to sleep either? that's because he doesn't, even if he's tired—the last thing he wants is to wake up and find that guren has returned to work. ]

[swordfucker]

[ After noticing that Dextera didn’t even really sleep in his own room, he had a feeling he wouldn’t sleep here. Still, Guren watches him quietly for a moment before he shifts from where he’s sitting, leaning over just enough to drop his hand on Dextera’s head. ]

At least have some breakfast in the morning, then. They won’t mind. [ He’s gonna eat Real Cooked Food, Guren will make sure of it!! And... he doesn’t know how else to express a second thank you. He doesn’t know how to express any of his feelings in general, but especially gratefulness like this.

His hand slips away, and he finally lies down on the bed, staring at the ceiling and the dumb hole to the side. He really needs to fix that. Even when he’s getting ready to rest, he’s thinking about work. ]

...good night.

[passio]

[ dextera believes guren when he says the others won't mind—and a part of him is looking forward to the idea of breakfast now that some color has returned to a few different foods. so when guren touches his head and makes him promise to eat, he nods, and follows guren's hand with his eyes until guren has settled on the bed. ]

Mmhm.

[ he can't say good night back! but he has sounds, even if he doesn't have words, and he wants guren to know that he'll be here for as long as he needs to be. the closest he gets to sleeping over the course of the night is resting his head on the edge of guren's mattress, but it mostly serves as a more comfortable angle for him to watch and make sure guren isn't having a troubled sleep.

he likes to watch! ]

[swordfucker]

[He can tell Dextera is watching him, and it would make it hard to sleep if he weren't so exhausted. As it is, he knows it's just Dextera, he knows that he means well, and he remembers that he's the one who asked him to stay over in the first place. He can deal with it. So, before long, he drifts into sleep, and for a while, it seems peaceful.

Whether it's nightmares or his demon, Guren ends up muttering in his sleep on occasion. The only thing that can be made out is Mahiru, and that gets a particularly frustrated furrowing of his eyebrows, but aside from that, he's sound asleep. There's no thrashing, no other facial expressions, just a quiet sigh or two in the middle of it all.

When he wakes up, his heart is racing— but he doesn't jolt upright. His eyes open at once, and he stares at the ceiling for a good minute or two, focusing on breathing. He's in his room. He'd been asleep. Dextera is next to the bed.

That's right... He turns to look at him, now, eyes still tired in their own way, but considerably less weary. Sleep helped a ton physically.]

You really didn't sleep at all, huh...

[passio]

[ dextera, perhaps, does doze a little bit over the course of the night, but he's always semi-conscious—and after guren starts muttering, he's perfectly alert, watching again as closely as a nurse might monitor a patient. in some abstract way, that's what they are now, and he knows as soon as guren is awake because he's paying close attention. ]

...

[ he scoots closer, and at least (?) the chill of the room by this point has woken him up like a nice splash of cold water. he blinks, and then offers guren a hand gesture that suggests a little. he slept enough! for now. his body will crash later, which is the schedule he tends to follow.

before guren can question that, he's tilting his head, a silent inquiry on how guren slept. he certainly looks a lot better. ]

[swordfucker]

[A little is basically nothing, he thinks. He'll have to leave Dextera alone tonight so he can actually get some sleep. He can do that. He's relieved having him back to normal, so there's no need to fuss...

Ah, but he's been staring and Dextera's had his head tilted like he's waiting for a return answer. Guren sits up, rubbing at the back of his neck.]

I'm... [Fine, he almost says, but remembers how upset Dextera had gotten when that had clearly not been the case. He sighs.] Better.

[There, that's honest and still not worrying, he hopes. He is doing much better.] Thanks again.

[Dropping his hand away from his neck, he looks back down at Dextera by the side of the bed.] I appreciate it.

[passio]

[ better is good. it tells him more than fine does, when fine has no objective measure and could easily be a lie. better is exactly what it sounds like—maybe not perfect, maybe not even well, but he's better than he was before.

dextera gently shakes his head, his necessary denial that he's doing guren any great favor. he decided he would stay the instant that he walked in and saw how worn down guren looked, and it turned out to be the right decision. later, when this all feels like a bad dream, they can talk about what he's working on, what his dreams are like... but for now, this is enough.

he finally pulls himself onto the shitty old mattress, sitting on the edge and holding out his hand to receive guren's. ]

[swordfucker]

[His body had desperately needed that rest. His sleepiness now is normal grogginess, and he stretches while Dextera gets up to join him. Just one good amount of sleep, even if it was late and it's still early, is enough to help a ton. Everyone has recovered, he reminds himself as he glances over at his laptop.

It's brief, and when Dextera holds out his hand, Guren automatically offers his own, looking to him.

Silence, again, from himself... but it's comfortable, and he's just waking up, anyway. They probably don't have to rush to breakfast until they hear the other two moving around out there.]

[passio]

[ first things first, right?

G-O-O-D
M-O-R-N-I-N-G

a proper greeting, since he couldn’t really tell guren goodnight before. it may seem trivial, but telling people—having people to tell—these daily greetings is still a novelty for him, and he’s not close enough with his housemates to grab their hands and chat. ]

...

[ the next message is equally trivial, after a pause. they don’t have to rush to breakfast, and probably can’t, but the fact of the matter is...

H-U-N-G-R-Y

like a dog, or perhaps more like a cat, insisting to its owner to get fed exactly as promised. dextera might eat like a weirdo, but he does need to eat!! ]