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[swordfucker]

Guren Ichinose | Red | #A5211F

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[messianic]

[... It's definitely impossible to ignore. Something is going on here, and Minato is no stranger to extra things in his head, but usually he doesn't have to tell his Personas to shut up.

... And yet Guren is so fierce, so certain when he says things like that, and...]

I believe you. And... I'm grateful for it.

[Minato says that softly, chin lifted to meet Guren's eyes. He believes Guren when he says they're all family, but...]

But you're still trying to take everything on your own shoulders. Even if those small things help...

[It's not really enough, is it?]

You still try so hard to stand all on your own.

[swordfucker]

[Mahiru moves to follow him, but he focuses on Minato, instead, ignoring as she comes up alongside him. There are some things that he has to deal with alone. And no matter how much he values friendship... Opening up out of the blue isn't his style. He's... shy, or something similar.]

What are you trying to say I should do?

[messianic]

[Minato can't say that Guren should open up out of the blue, really--it'd make him a hypocrite, because he doesn't really open up at all. Not on purpose, but because that's just the life he's used to living.

And he won't ask for Guren to change the way he is, the way he copes with things--nothing like that. That wouldn't be fair either.

But even so...there's one thing he can ask for. And he tucks his hands in his pockets quietly, meeting Guren's eyes, and:]

... Just admit it, when you're not completely okay. You don't...have to say why. Or what's bothering you, or talk about it.

But... you don't have to say you're "fine" when you're not, too. Isn't that just taking on even more burdens...when your family wants to support you?

[It's a lot easier for them to be there for Guren if he'll admit he's not 100% okay--even if it's just things like the music or the apples.]

[swordfucker]

Hahaha.

[It's a short laugh, and he doesn't really look happy or amused with it. Say when he's not okay— is he ever okay? Saying it each time he felt any ounce of sadness or anger or loss of control— he'd never shut up. He was raised not to be that way, and even his friends of 9 years couldn't stop him from that.]

But I am fine.

[Mahiru is just watching, and Guren turns back to go take another apple slice. They taste good... he missed flavor. Mm, but even if that answer will probably hurt Minato, he knows one thing.]

You came over here because you were worried, didn't you? [He's making a point. It's obvious when he's not okay to the point where he needs help. His friends can always tell— anyone could tell, probably... Except for those larger things that he hides a little too well. It's the fact that he doesn't hide everything too well that he's talking about, here. If he wants to ask for help, he won't hide it completely. He'll let a little exhaustion show. He'll let his friends see him frown, or go weak on a forced smile. He'll let some of that harshly trained guarded expression of his fall, even if he could keep it up.]

It would have been easy to type so that you weren't worried at all.

[messianic]

[It's a point that's made, sure. Minato hadn't thought about it that way--and he can see the point Guren's making. He could've hidden things better, but he chose not to. In a way, then, was that really his way of saying he wasn't entirely fine...?

(Still, not being able to say anything but "I'm fine" feels terribly sad to him.)

Minato's always known when to compromise.

Now's one of those times, and quietly, he nods.]

... I guess I didn't completely get it, but now I think I understand a little better. [And he's grateful for that, especially. Understanding people, piece by piece... that's something that's made his own life have some sort of worth and meaning.]

In that case... I think that's all I can ask for. [For Guren to keep reaching out in those small ways, when things are overwhelming.] And I'll just have to keep being a pest, regardless.

[He's only joking a little, honestly.]

[swordfucker]

[Guren is full of half lies and partial truths. He loves each and every friend he makes, but he places them all before himself, no matter what they say. He's so emotional over this that he desperately needs help, but instead of admitting it, he's just trying to move on, and half of the time it's his normal personality dealing with it, and half of the time it's his namanari side. No one can tell the difference here, either. Not when he's being careful.

So he laughs, quietly, still a little distant.]

You're good at that. [Teasing, affectionate enough to be clear that he doesn't mean it as an insult.]

[messianic]

[There's a lot there to unpack that Minato still doesn't know or understand, of course--but the best he can do is to keep trying to understand Guren, day after day.

Maybe someday, it'll be enough.

The affectionate teasing, at least, gets a soft snort out of Minato.]

...Yeah, I think I am. [It's his only real saving grace, his refusal to give up on people. Over and over again, that's...his real virtue.]

But you know... since that's how it's going to be... [With Guren always saying he's fine--] I guess I'll just have to always check up on you.

[Even if Guren really is fine, every single situation...that's the best way for him to be sure for himself that it's true (or not), right?]

[swordfucker]

[He places a hand on his hip, staring incredulously at Minato. Hang on, revealing his tsun secret doesn't mean using it against him? That basic math isn't allowed?]

Don't you have other people to bother?

[messianic]

Yeah.

[He won't deny that when it's obviously true? He's that kind of person.

But also, like:]

But I can check on them and check on you. It doesn't have to be one or the other, so I'm choosing to do both.

[This is how he lives his life.]

[swordfucker]

How annoying.

[He's so mean, he loves it, really... But Mahiru is still hanging around, and he still doesn't have the willpower to make her vanish. She's sitting on the countertop, swinging her legs as she leans over the bunny apples.

"I could have made you a bento with apples like this, Guren. Is that what you'd like?"]

Get lost. [That alone might have seemed like a really mean comment to Minato, and maybe it still does, but it's accompanied with a strange swat of his hand over the plate before he grabs another apple. Leave him alone!!! Demon!!!]

[messianic]

[... Hm.

Maybe this would seem stranger if Minato was someone without multiple pieces of his psyche floating around in his head, but... right now, he's starting to wonder.

Guren isn't even really looking at him.]

... Ichinose-san... [Hm.] I know this might sound weird, but... is there someone else there?

[swordfucker]

[ Ah. No one has ever asked him straight up, but then he’s never been this bothered, either. In the car, with his friends, but they knew not to ask. He sighs, his eyes acthally directly finding Mahiru as she says some obnoxious comment about introducing her. ]

No one to worry about. [ But he pauses again, and relents. ] Just a demon. The one in my blade. Keep that to yourself.

[messianic]

[... Ah.

Minato nods quietly, automatically agreeing--of course he won't tell anyone--but...]

It talks to you?

[swordfucker]

With cursed gear, demons can talk to their wielder in a space in their heart.

[Mahiru is just... extra weird and powerful. Guren was an accidental test subject for this whole thing, so it's all kind of a wild ride. He crosses his arms, and makes Mahiru actually vanish.]

Or, in our minds. I'd have to sleep to go talk to her in my heart, but here, she can tell me things only I can see. It's part of how they try to tempt humans into using too much power.

[messianic]

[That's a lot. It's a lot to process, but what he's really taking away from this is:]

So... does that mean she's trying to tempt you all the time?

[Is Guren dealing with this burden all the time, every single day, every minute, over and over and over again?

That sounds exhausting.]

[swordfucker]

...Kind of.

[It's been eight years with this demon, another year with the demon before that. He's so used to it all that it's hard to think of when he didn't have that voice inside of him that he could reach out to for power. He can remember it, of course, but the peace, the quiet... they're distant memories.]

But a demon has no desires of their own. They latch onto the desires of their host and encourage them. She wants what I want, and with drugs and the restrictions already in place, I'm in control. You don't have to worry.

[Probably. Maybe.]

[messianic]

[Minato just shakes his head at that, expression a little rueful. Even now, Guren...

That's not at all what he's concerned about.]

I'm not worried about you losing control, Ichinose-san.

[... He tilts his head.]

But... it sounds really exhausting. That's what I'm worried about.

[Minato has faith in people. He definitely has faith in Guren, who has been nothing but impressive this entire time. He's not worried Guren will lose control, he's just worried about Guren.]

[swordfucker]

[...What an unbelievable answer. That's not what he should be worried about at all. He laughs, because he's not sure how else to react.]

So, what, are you going to tell me I have to nap? Life is exhausting. We just have to keep going and deal with it.

[messianic]

[It's a very Minato answer, though--so best get used to it, Guren.]

... Maybe you should nap.

[Maybe you should!!]

I think it's admirable the way you always keep going, no matter what, and do your best to protect people, Ichinose-san. But... what's wrong with taking a nap sometimes?

[SLEEP... MORE.....]

[swordfucker]

[Ahhh, geez!! Nagging!! He sighs like he's irritated, even if he does appreciate the concern. But appreciation for it doesn't mean he'll listen, either.]

I sleep every night. I don't need to waste my time doing it during the day. [He has slept maybe one or two hours maybe every other night, lately, he is a mess.]

[messianic]

[... Minato peers at Guren quietly at that for a long moment.]

... I'm not really sure I believe you, actually, now that you mention it.

[Especially after all of that conversation about Guren totally not talking about his real feelings ever.]

[swordfucker]

I don't care. Believe what you want.

[Ah, he's being short again... And to cover it up, he's going for another apple slice. At least he's eating? He hasn't eaten in a while, he needed this.] I don't have time for naps.

[messianic]

[He doesn't seem to mind, at least.

But.

Guren does get an arched eyebrow for his trouble.]

No...? What else are you spending your time doing all day and all night here?

[Like yeah, there's a lot going on here, but there's also a fat lot of nothing going on here, too.]

[swordfucker]

[Hrmm... He stares blankly at him for another long moment.]

Those match ups, checking up on the other groups who went into the forest, writing out ideas on how to get everything that was lost back, brainstorming ideas for new drugs to combat it all.

[PLENTY!!!] Sometimes I eat or take a shit.

[Are you happy, Minato]

[messianic]

[Honestly, yeah..... honesty is good. He's very happy.]

I'm not going to say that that's not all important, because obviously it is... but I still think you can fit some more naps into that schedule.