Guren Ichinose (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
swordfucker) wrote2018-03-10 06:49 pm
swordfucker) wrote2018-03-10 06:49 pm
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Guren Ichinose | Red | #A5211F
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Guren Ichinose | Red | #A5211F
Text | Action
[Though Izuku hasn't exactly been slacking off in the cleaning department, helping other people clean their houses or even just helping repair other parts of the town means that his own space has been sadly neglected.
Whenever Guren drops in to visit, he'll spot Izuku just returning from fetching a bucket of water for cleaning. The reason for his obvious panicking becomes clear when the house's floor voice rings out clearly, scornfully.] They were right, you know. You probably won't amount to anything in the end. [Then, the walls chime in helpfully.] What makes you think you can be a hero? You're useless.
[Izuku's entire body is tense, even as he quickly wets the mop and begins cleaning the floor with a silence that's uncharacteristic for him.]
Whenever Guren drops in to visit, he'll spot Izuku just returning from fetching a bucket of water for cleaning. The reason for his obvious panicking becomes clear when the house's floor voice rings out clearly, scornfully.] They were right, you know. You probably won't amount to anything in the end. [Then, the walls chime in helpfully.] What makes you think you can be a hero? You're useless.
[Izuku's entire body is tense, even as he quickly wets the mop and begins cleaning the floor with a silence that's uncharacteristic for him.]
[He can hear it from outside the door. Not bothering with a knock, he lets himself in, stopping short before he steps on any of the floor Izuku is trying to clean.]
Hey. [Of all people, Izuku is insecure about his strength. It does make sense to Guren, though. It's people with the most power who crave it more, usually, isn't it? There's always a reason. Guren has that same greed. He leans against the door frame, eyes flicking to Izuku to size him up.]
How's it going? [Even if he can tell by that body language.]
Hey. [Of all people, Izuku is insecure about his strength. It does make sense to Guren, though. It's people with the most power who crave it more, usually, isn't it? There's always a reason. Guren has that same greed. He leans against the door frame, eyes flicking to Izuku to size him up.]
How's it going? [Even if he can tell by that body language.]
[Somehow, Izuku's body tenses even more as soon as he hears Guren's voice. Of all the times for his new teacher to stop by...]
I-it's going fine! I was busy helping around other parts of the town, I haven't cleaned here as much as I should've. [With a weak laugh, Izuku returns to his mopping with renewed determination, carefully avoiding Guren's gaze.]
I-it's going fine! I was busy helping around other parts of the town, I haven't cleaned here as much as I should've. [With a weak laugh, Izuku returns to his mopping with renewed determination, carefully avoiding Guren's gaze.]
[Hm. Too bad he's going to call him out immediately. He watches him clean, and he knows the longer he stands here doing nothing, the more he risks the furniture speaking to him, he doesn't care.]
So you feel useless? Have you talked to anyone about that?
So you feel useless? Have you talked to anyone about that?
I... [Izuku stills, hands tightening around the mop handle as he bows his head lightly.]
It's not that. [It's very much that, even if he doesn't want to think about it. Izuku knows that he won't get away with such a weak deflection, though. So he very grudgingly admits something that personal enough to at least satisfy Guren's curiosity.] They're just things people used to say to me.
It's not that. [It's very much that, even if he doesn't want to think about it. Izuku knows that he won't get away with such a weak deflection, though. So he very grudgingly admits something that personal enough to at least satisfy Guren's curiosity.] They're just things people used to say to me.
And why do the things people say to you matter? Unless you believe them yourself.
[As if on cue, a desk or a table in the room begins to speak out at the only one in the room not cleaning. "Lazy. What right do you have to teach anything? The one who's useless is you."
Guren, however, remains straight faced, focusing on Izuku.]
Ignore them, Izuku. They don't matter. ["You couldn't save anyone, could you? You killed them all."]
[As if on cue, a desk or a table in the room begins to speak out at the only one in the room not cleaning. "Lazy. What right do you have to teach anything? The one who's useless is you."
Guren, however, remains straight faced, focusing on Izuku.]
Ignore them, Izuku. They don't matter. ["You couldn't save anyone, could you? You killed them all."]
[His shoulders curl in just a bit more. Finally, he replies quietly--] It's hard to ignore, after you've been hearing them for most of your life.
[Whether it's lucky or unlucky that the furniture's decided to focus on Guren instead of Izuku now, Izuku can't decide. His eyes flick between the table and Guren with some unease.] I-I'm not the only one who needs to talk, am I?
[Whether it's lucky or unlucky that the furniture's decided to focus on Guren instead of Izuku now, Izuku can't decide. His eyes flick between the table and Guren with some unease.] I-I'm not the only one who needs to talk, am I?
...No. There are plenty of other people who need it, too. But not me.
[Guren, please. He's cold about that, staring down the table like he's daring it to continue.] I heard the same thing for most of my life, but you don't see me reacting to it, do you? It's easy. Are you going to let it get to you, or are you going to prove it wrong?
[Guren, please. He's cold about that, staring down the table like he's daring it to continue.] I heard the same thing for most of my life, but you don't see me reacting to it, do you? It's easy. Are you going to let it get to you, or are you going to prove it wrong?
[No matter how calmly Guren might seem, Izuku isn't really buying it. The furniture wouldn't be bringing it up if it didn't actually bother him...right?]
That's because Ichinose-sensei is so hard to read sometimes. [Izuku says, somewhat frankly, before his face colors at his boldness. He looks away, gripping the mop even more tightly in his hands.] I...I want to prove them wrong. Of course I do.
That's because Ichinose-sensei is so hard to read sometimes. [Izuku says, somewhat frankly, before his face colors at his boldness. He looks away, gripping the mop even more tightly in his hands.] I...I want to prove them wrong. Of course I do.
[The bold comment isn't such a bad thing. Guren gives him a sympathetic look, moving further into the room. He stays out of the way of the cleaning, but still doesn't pick anything up to help, either. He's trying to make it clear that it's not just Izuku.]
Then don't let something as simple as words hold you back. ["Ichinose scum can't become anything in the world. You'll never be strong enough." Reaching out, he rests his hand on Izuku's head, quietly affectionate.]
That's how I do it. I don't let it get to me, no matter how many times I hear it. I talk to my friends when I need to, and ignore it when I don't.
Then don't let something as simple as words hold you back. ["Ichinose scum can't become anything in the world. You'll never be strong enough." Reaching out, he rests his hand on Izuku's head, quietly affectionate.]
That's how I do it. I don't let it get to me, no matter how many times I hear it. I talk to my friends when I need to, and ignore it when I don't.
[Izuku's eyes widen at the unexpected touch, and for a second, he wavers, uncertain what to do with it. Then, his eyes close slightly and he leans into it just so. It...makes him think of All Might a little, who had rested his hand on Izuku's head the same way not too long ago.]
What if...you don't want to bother your friends with this?
[He finally asks, softly. It's not that he doesn't trust his friends, he does. But he feels like he's spent so much time just catching up to his peers, that Izuku doesn't want them to see pathetic he might actually just be underneath the strength quirk.]
What if...you don't want to bother your friends with this?
[He finally asks, softly. It's not that he doesn't trust his friends, he does. But he feels like he's spent so much time just catching up to his peers, that Izuku doesn't want them to see pathetic he might actually just be underneath the strength quirk.]
Edited 2018-04-03 00:01 (UTC)
[Ah, that. Guren waits a moment before he pulls his hand back, looking at where Izuku is cleaning, instead.]
For friends, it's not a bother. Would you ever turn away one of your friends coming to you for help?
[He'll let him think that over for a second as he moves, finding a chair to sit in. Once he does, he looks evenly across the room at Izuku.] You're not hiding it as well as you think, anyway. Trust me. I'm not either, right?
For friends, it's not a bother. Would you ever turn away one of your friends coming to you for help?
[He'll let him think that over for a second as he moves, finding a chair to sit in. Once he does, he looks evenly across the room at Izuku.] You're not hiding it as well as you think, anyway. Trust me. I'm not either, right?
I wouldn't, but... [His eyes meet Guren's for a moment before shifting away again.] I haven't known them for a long time. Just.. a few months. It's a lot to drop on them when we haven't been friends for a long time, right?
[He honestly doesn't know, because he has no real friendships from before to measure this against.]
I dunno, I think you're pretty good at hiding what you think most of the time. [Guren gets a tiny, wobbly smile--it's the best Izuku can muster right now.] It's only because of the furniture that I know something's wrong.
[He honestly doesn't know, because he has no real friendships from before to measure this against.]
I dunno, I think you're pretty good at hiding what you think most of the time. [Guren gets a tiny, wobbly smile--it's the best Izuku can muster right now.] It's only because of the furniture that I know something's wrong.
Haha...
[Still, he thinks believing the furniture over him means he's still showing weaknesses. As if reflecting that, it continues. "You killed all of them. You're not going to be able to bring them back."
He doesn't even blink.]
Why isn't a few months enough? If you'd fight for them to live, then they're your friends. There's not some magic number that makes them more okay with listening. [He watches Izuku more directly, now.]
Open up to them, and tell them to open up to you. Share your burdens with each other and grow.
[Still, he thinks believing the furniture over him means he's still showing weaknesses. As if reflecting that, it continues. "You killed all of them. You're not going to be able to bring them back."
He doesn't even blink.]
Why isn't a few months enough? If you'd fight for them to live, then they're your friends. There's not some magic number that makes them more okay with listening. [He watches Izuku more directly, now.]
Open up to them, and tell them to open up to you. Share your burdens with each other and grow.
[Izuku visibly balks at that advice. How can he open up to them when there are things he cannot tell them, isn't allowed to tell them, even if he wants to? What would All Might say if he just blurted the secret out to a bunch of people?]
I--we should talk about you instead! [That sure was a smooth and totally not-desperate attempt at changing the focus of the conversation.] There's....a lot that the furniture's been saying. And you pretty much said you're not okay either.
I--we should talk about you instead! [That sure was a smooth and totally not-desperate attempt at changing the focus of the conversation.] There's....a lot that the furniture's been saying. And you pretty much said you're not okay either.
You're avoiding the subject!
[He snaps, intimidating even if his words are for the best for Izuku. Hiding things away, bottling them up, making excuses as to why... It wasn't good. He'd done the same things, and if he was this kid's teacher now, then he had to act like it.]
This is a two way street! If you want to hear me talk, then you're going to have to talk first! That's an order!
[He snaps, intimidating even if his words are for the best for Izuku. Hiding things away, bottling them up, making excuses as to why... It wasn't good. He'd done the same things, and if he was this kid's teacher now, then he had to act like it.]
This is a two way street! If you want to hear me talk, then you're going to have to talk first! That's an order!
[The sharp tone makes Izuku flinch back instinctively. He can't even find the words to defend himself because Guren's right; he is avoiding the subject.]
I-it's not that big a deal. [The lie tastes horrible on his tongue, rather like the ashy food they've been forced to settle for here. Izuku's voice is barely audible, and obviously shaky.] Whatever's bothering you is probably way more important.
I-it's not that big a deal. [The lie tastes horrible on his tongue, rather like the ashy food they've been forced to settle for here. Izuku's voice is barely audible, and obviously shaky.] Whatever's bothering you is probably way more important.
[He can see everything in that body language, of course. Hesitation, more from self-deprecation than a lack of trust. Worries, fear that he'll be seen as less. Guren stares hard across the room at him, not letting up.
He's serious. It was an order. He's not going to talk about himself unless Izuku learns to do it first.]
Izuku. [And so, again, he speaks. This time it's less angry, but the seriousness hasn't dropped.] Talk to me.
He's serious. It was an order. He's not going to talk about himself unless Izuku learns to do it first.]
Izuku. [And so, again, he speaks. This time it's less angry, but the seriousness hasn't dropped.] Talk to me.
[Anger and raised voices have always made Izuku's defenses prickle and strengthen, but this--the lowered, gentler tone compared to before, it makes something in him twist uncomfortably.
Izuku swallows. It shouldn't make him feel like he's done something wrong, that Guren has to soften his voice and coax this out of him. And yet, he can't help but feel like he's disappointed his new teacher already, with his inability to be truthful about these things.]
I... [His voice cracks.] I don't know if it's okay... when it's okay to talk to my friends about my problems.
[The tears that had begun welling up earlier finally spill over, and Izuku squeezes his eyes shut.] What if I tell them too much and it changes their opinion of me? I haven't really had friends before them. I don't want to-- [Be alone again.] To lose the friends I've managed to make. [Izuku scrubs at his eyes with his sleeve unhappily.] Besides. I-I should be able to deal with things like this on my own
Izuku swallows. It shouldn't make him feel like he's done something wrong, that Guren has to soften his voice and coax this out of him. And yet, he can't help but feel like he's disappointed his new teacher already, with his inability to be truthful about these things.]
I... [His voice cracks.] I don't know if it's okay... when it's okay to talk to my friends about my problems.
[The tears that had begun welling up earlier finally spill over, and Izuku squeezes his eyes shut.] What if I tell them too much and it changes their opinion of me? I haven't really had friends before them. I don't want to-- [Be alone again.] To lose the friends I've managed to make. [Izuku scrubs at his eyes with his sleeve unhappily.] Besides. I-I should be able to deal with things like this on my own
You don't have to deal with anything on your own.
["Hypocrite!" the walls say, but Guren shoots them a glare as he stands up, ignoring them otherwise.] There may be things they don't understand, or things you've done that may make them doubt you... but friendship isn't weak.
I could already tell from the way your friends speak about you that you're well loved. Every time you hold something back and keep it to yourself, you're telling them that they can't help. That they aren't strong enough to help, themselves. How do you think that would make them feel?
[He's crossed the room by now, and he places a hand on Izuku's shoulder, crouching to his height.] They found you while you were all alone. Isn't that right? So what makes you think that they'll leave you so easily?
["Hypocrite!" the walls say, but Guren shoots them a glare as he stands up, ignoring them otherwise.] There may be things they don't understand, or things you've done that may make them doubt you... but friendship isn't weak.
I could already tell from the way your friends speak about you that you're well loved. Every time you hold something back and keep it to yourself, you're telling them that they can't help. That they aren't strong enough to help, themselves. How do you think that would make them feel?
[He's crossed the room by now, and he places a hand on Izuku's shoulder, crouching to his height.] They found you while you were all alone. Isn't that right? So what makes you think that they'll leave you so easily?
Edited 2018-04-03 06:19 (UTC)
["You're well loved." Those words hit Izuku hard, making him shed even more tears. After being told for most of his life that he's not good enough, it's hard to believe that his friends will still accept him when he's at anything less than his best. Or more than his best, really.
Guren's words are convincing, though, and this time Izuku's made to change his perspective, to think about it from his friends' side.] Todoroki-kun... he said that he hates it when I don't take care of myself. Because we're friends. I...I would hate it if I couldn't do anything for him and the others.
[Izuku shakes his head, careful not to dislodge Guren's hand from his shoulder. Though it was Guren who pushed Izuku into the corner in the first place, Izuku can't bring himself to be angry at him, when he's showing such care to Izuku now.] It's...because of a lot of things.
Guren's words are convincing, though, and this time Izuku's made to change his perspective, to think about it from his friends' side.] Todoroki-kun... he said that he hates it when I don't take care of myself. Because we're friends. I...I would hate it if I couldn't do anything for him and the others.
[Izuku shakes his head, careful not to dislodge Guren's hand from his shoulder. Though it was Guren who pushed Izuku into the corner in the first place, Izuku can't bring himself to be angry at him, when he's showing such care to Izuku now.] It's...because of a lot of things.
[Guren keeps his hand on his shoulder, watching quietly as he speaks. As he opens up. The first part is good— a different perspective can help him realize that his friends only want to help. That they'd hate this, being unable to do anything. But of course there are still fears.]
Listen. [He gives his shoulder a light squeeze.] I've been with my friends for 9 years now. We even went through the end of the world together. But I'm still worried about losing them.
Every day. They were my first friends. They stayed by my side even though I was Ichinose scum, even when we risked our lives— but that fear hasn't left. You want to know why?
It's because they're important. It's always going to feel like you could mess up at any turn, or they could realize some truth about you that you've been hiding all along, turn tail and leave. But it's not that simple. [He squeezes again, a little firmer.] You hear that? It's not that simple.
Whatever it is you're worried about... friends will stay through it. They'll help you through it.
Listen. [He gives his shoulder a light squeeze.] I've been with my friends for 9 years now. We even went through the end of the world together. But I'm still worried about losing them.
Every day. They were my first friends. They stayed by my side even though I was Ichinose scum, even when we risked our lives— but that fear hasn't left. You want to know why?
It's because they're important. It's always going to feel like you could mess up at any turn, or they could realize some truth about you that you've been hiding all along, turn tail and leave. But it's not that simple. [He squeezes again, a little firmer.] You hear that? It's not that simple.
Whatever it is you're worried about... friends will stay through it. They'll help you through it.
[Surprise makes him look up at Guren, even as he's still blinking the tears out of his eyes.]
You? You're scared...? [The words tumble out of his mouth, and Izuku blushes a second later.] S-sorry, it's just.. you always come across as really confident. [That's how he's seemed to Izuku since the beginning, at least.] Or maybe I just...didn't know what to look for.
[At the back of his mind, Izuku realizes that Guren's kept his promise from before. As soon as Izuku started talking for real, he'd shared his own fears, too. He can't help but feel a burst of warmth at that--however aloof Guren might've seemed in the beginning, he's obviously a man of his word. Someone Izuku can trust.]
You? You're scared...? [The words tumble out of his mouth, and Izuku blushes a second later.] S-sorry, it's just.. you always come across as really confident. [That's how he's seemed to Izuku since the beginning, at least.] Or maybe I just...didn't know what to look for.
[At the back of his mind, Izuku realizes that Guren's kept his promise from before. As soon as Izuku started talking for real, he'd shared his own fears, too. He can't help but feel a burst of warmth at that--however aloof Guren might've seemed in the beginning, he's obviously a man of his word. Someone Izuku can trust.]
[In this moment, he's not even bothered by the surprise. His hand slips away from Izuku's shoulder, but it's just to give him the space to wipe those tears away, if he'd like.]
Everyone has fears. I might be confident, but I'm still human. Fears, worries, sadness, anger. Everyone has those things.
[Hmm, but he'll go ahead and reach forward and flick away one of those tears himself, playfully forceful rather than too gentle.] But I save my tears for when people can't see them. I don't want to worry my friends, either. As long as I keep thinking that I can do what I need to, my friends are there supporting me. Remembering that, there's no reason to get all worked up about it.
You're human. Embrace those feelings, but don't let them hold you back.
Everyone has fears. I might be confident, but I'm still human. Fears, worries, sadness, anger. Everyone has those things.
[Hmm, but he'll go ahead and reach forward and flick away one of those tears himself, playfully forceful rather than too gentle.] But I save my tears for when people can't see them. I don't want to worry my friends, either. As long as I keep thinking that I can do what I need to, my friends are there supporting me. Remembering that, there's no reason to get all worked up about it.
You're human. Embrace those feelings, but don't let them hold you back.
[So it's been all of a day since that radio silence, but Minato is a stubborn, stubborn boy.
Which means that it's only the next day before Minato is pestering Guren some more.]
Ichinose-san, do you mind if I come by at some point? I have something for you.
Which means that it's only the next day before Minato is pestering Guren some more.]
Ichinose-san, do you mind if I come by at some point? I have something for you.
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